Paeonia
by Lilacnightmares
Summary: Bashful love. The adoration that Ray feels for you has never been strongest then it is today. He finds time to spend the morning with you and he decides that he never wants to let you. Inspired by a drawing by @Sensetenou on Tumblr.


For Ray, you're the light of his life and the reason that he breathes every day.

You're the person that he craves to hold so very close to him, and there are so many things that he wants to be able to do with you that he's unsure if he'll ever be able to do them. He has so much work to do to ensure the future and safety of paradise and his Savior wants, no, expects him to go above and beyond that limit to do so.

That means that the moments that he gets to share with you are brief, much too short for his liking. He already dares to linger too long when he sees your smiling face in front of him, and those selfish extra minutes are bad to some degree, his brain warns.

He's supposed to be working his ass off. He's supposed to be thinking only about how great the future his Savior wants is. He's supposed to be locked tight in the intelligence room and meticulously grinding his fingers against the keys of his keyboard until his fingers bleed and the destruction of the RFA is ensured by his broken, tired, but vengeful hands.

However, he can't help but cling onto you.

Ray cannot deny the fact that he feels for you so strongly. A part of him knows that he's not worthy of someone of your caliber. He's beneath you. He's nothing like you. He's never been as pure and just as someone like you. You're the kind of person who deserves nothing but paradise.

You shine like the sun and illuminate his life while his light is dwindling underneath the ocean of elixir he drinks every day.

The fact that you give him any time of day is a real blessing.

The thought is always heavy in the back of his mind when he's with you. You're the first person to ever look at him like this; Like he's the most important person in the world, like someone is depending on him, like he's needed, like he's wanted, like he's craved by someone for reasons that have never been used to describe him before.

God, it's wrong for him to be so enraptured.

He just can't control it.

Ray is weak.

He's determined to build something for you that will make you happy. He won't stop until your safety and happiness is ensured.

It doesn't matter what happens to him. It doesn't matter if he drowns before he can see it himself. As long as you're happy and you're smiling so brightly then he just doesn't care what happens to himself.

Today is one of those days where he found a chance, no, an excuse to get out of work so that he could spend some of that special time with you. It had been quite a while since he had managed to get out of his room, and even though he was exhausted, the moment that he saw you, he didn't feel the weighted drowsiness anymore.

What better way to spend the early morning hours then but to take you out to the garden to see the sunrise over the horizon? It was always late at night when he could find the time to come and see you, and each time that he stopped by, you always seemed to know that he was coming before he even told you.

Just another testament to how much you cared about him.

To how much he didn't deserve an angel like you.

You seemed pleased by that idea.

At the very least, it seemed as though that was the case when you let him take hold of your hand and lead the way through the twisting and similar hallways until you found yourself in the fresh air, the air filled with the strong aroma of flora and fauna. Your eyes always sparkling with something unspoken when you were out here with him.

Words didn't have to be exchanged to get the feeling across that the two of you were feeling. It was quiet but all that matter was the fact that you were together again.

He just enjoyed your company as you both walked around the cobblestone paths that were winding and turned to different areas of the building as well as different spots overgrown with different types of flowers.

Some of his best friends were the flowers and as beautiful as much care as he put into them when he could, their splendor was nothing compared to you. When he was once distracted by the spectrum of color in the garden, he now found himself more allured by your hues and tones. It was a fixation that seemed to have no need.

"I'm so happy to be with you again, Ray," you smile at him.

His grip on your hand is snuggly tight. He doesn't want to let go. He fears that if he lets you free that you may vanish from his sight forever and be lost to him. "I'm just glad that I could find a moment to make more memories with you."

Your laughter is melodious.

It's music to his ears.

"I know you've got a lot of work to do, but it means a lot to me that you find the time to come and see me anyway," you admit. "I know that sounds a little selfish. You should be getting some rest instead of seeing me."

You were the farthest thing from that. You're always thinking of him instead of yourself. You're selfless, not selfish. Ray wanted to give you the world. He would do it if he could. That's why he finds it so very hard not to want to be close to you when he can do it.

"I'm used to working very hard without a lot of sleep," he says, quietly. "If I'm honest, when I'm with you, I don't feel tired. I feel like I have everything I could ever want… and that's much more refreshing than sleeping alone."

Ray can't bring himself to look at you completely when he says those words. He means them when he says them.

He just hopes that it doesn't disgust you with him. The last thing he wanted was to make you think less of him. But, from the corner of his vision, he can see your lips curl into the smallest smile and the way that your cheeks dusted over with just enough pink.

"Oh, Ray," you say, and a little sigh escapes your lips.

He looks at you, "...?"

"You always know what to say to steal my heart, but I want to make sure you're taking care of yourself too, not just me. You're just as important as I am. I would hate to think that when you're thinking of me you aren't thinking of yourself."

Ray is confused by your words.

With pursed lips, you glance around your surroundings until you find what you're looking for, letting go of his hand for just a moment to pat down your skirt to sit down on the grass. You pat the spot next to you gently with your hand a few times until Ray understands what you're implying.

Reluctantly, he sits down next to you as you lay back against the ground.

"C'mon, Ray, you can lay back, too." You urged.

He listened to your words.

The sky overhead still has the smallest trace of stars but they're growing fainter and fainter as the moon starts to lower in the horizon to end the night.

You took hold of his hand again. "You know, we've never been able to be together when the sun is up. It's kind of a shame. I can never quite see you as clearly as I want to when we're together like this. I want to know if I affect you as much as you affect me."

The small gasp that leaves his lips is just small enough that you almost don't hear it.

"You're very important to me," Ray says, softly.

"I can say the same for you," you reply. "You're important to me, Ray. I want you to get some rest and take care of yourself when you can, okay? I want you to be feeling your best not just for my sake, but for yourself. I would feel better knowing that you were taking care of yourself instead of you working too hard."

You meant it.

"...I have a lot of responsibilities to attend to," Ray said. "I don't want to worry you."

"I know. I just want you to know that it's okay if you want to get some rest when you visit me from now on. It's okay to get some rest. I know you don't like to do it when you're alone, so, I'd be more than happy to let you lay with me."

Ray is stupefied by your words. How is it so simple for you to speak your feelings like that? He's floored by the notion and the sincere kindness in your heart. He's also a little mortified by the implication of how close that would make the two of you become.

But, you just smile at him, and then look back at the sky above.

The sun is very close to breaching the skyline in the distance. Very soon, another day would begin at Magenta. You wanted to start it with Ray. As long as you were with him then that was enough for you today. You knew that your time with him was going to be limited, and so, you wanted to relish at the moment by enjoying this with him.

He deserved to lay back and not do anything for one in his life.

It always seemed like he was working himself to the brink of life and death because that was the only thing that he had ever known. You had been trying to instill in him the idea that he could take a break now and again; He worked so hard and was hardly ever rewarded for it as far as you could tell from your position. As much as you wanted to spend time with him and see him, you wanted him to use the breaks that he got to rest and recover from working long hours.

This was enough, though, and you could hear his breath steady out after a few minutes. He had done as you had asked, or he had finally allowed himself to calm down enough that his exhaustion caught up with him and he fell asleep. Either way, you were just happy that he was willing to put down his walls long enough for the sake of his health. You could always see the purple underneath his mint eyes and how the lingering exhaustion affected him when he was talking or doing things.

You laid there for a long time just enjoying his presence.

Often times, you would speak with him while he was working late in the night on the phone just to keep him company. You got way more rest than he did, so it really wasn't much of a problem for you to stay up like that. You just wanted to spend more time with him and that was one of the few ways that you could. One thing that you often wondered about was how he looked when he rested, and now, you couldn't help but feel the temptation to peek at him.

You sat up and looked over at Ray as the sun rose in the sky and illuminated his face. He was facing your direction, and although his grip had loosened some, he was still holding onto you as firmly as he would when he awake. His coat had fallen a bit to the wayside but it was cute like that. There was just the smallest hint of a smile on his face that made your heart jolt in your chest against your ribcage, and a little gasp escaped your lips.

If you could have fallen more in love with someone then this would have been the moment that you realized that you had it really bad for Ray.


End file.
